Could have been Series

Col "the Handyman" Hilton

2006-03-06T20:28:00.000-08:00

It’s a warm summer’s night in Melbourne. A lonely old man sits on a hard wooden seat in the bowels of a dark and ageing football stand. Outside, a gentle breeze cools the surrounds as it passes through leafy Princess Park in the inner city suburb of Carlton. He closes his eyes and listens to the rustling oof leaves. He sits there alone, gently rocking back and forth on his chair. A small barely audible sound can be heard coming from his mouth. He sits there for hours slowly repeating the words…. “15 long years.…15 long years….15 long years.…15 long years...” That’s how long it had been since the old man was happy... that’s when the crowds used to pack out every inch of this now lonely grandstand. That’s the last time they chanted out the name of their hero – Col “The Handyman Hilton”.

The story of the boy that became the Handyman started many years back in Melbourne’s Queen Victoria Hospital on February 9th, 1967. From the very start Col was bursting to get out and amongst it and surprised parents John and Jean (or J&J) by being 4 weeks premature. Born into a large family, Hilton quickly settled into life in beautiful Pascoe Vale. From an early age, Col showed a proficiency and love for Aussie Rules football and for all forms of woodmaking. J&J quickly discovered that Little Col could only sleep comfortably at night if he had a T.W.Sherrin or a hammer placed strategically under his arm. They were little Col’s “security blanket”.

As he worked his way through Pascoe Vale Primary and then Strathmore Secondary College, Hilton began to show a flair both on and off the footy field. Old school chum Andrew “Boots” Wellington remembers Col’s exploits only to well. “I think his brothers used to call him “Little Hilts” and believe me it was appropriate. Col was always a few inches shorter than the boys, but geez he used it to his advantage. Opposition players couldn’t get near him. Just when they thought they had him, Col would whip through their legs, or dive in under packs before they knew what was going on. He’d rack up 40-50 possessions a game as if it was nothing.”

Off the field, Hilton was a legend amongst both students and school maintenance staff for his natural HandyMan skills. Headmaster Mr. Bob Jones remembers only to well. “Young Col wasn’t the best academic student, but boy could that boy build. He single handedly crafted 100 brand new student desks out of a large Gum Tree that fell down in the schoolyard on one particularly windy day.” Head Maintenance Manager Jack “Ratchet” Simpson concurred. “We loved young Hilts. He’d often skip class to come down to the maintenance shed and help out. One time I saw him turn an old wooden cabinet into 3 chairs, 2 desks, a couple of chopping boards and about a hundred wooden rulers. All this in under an hour!! The boy could do it all.”

Despite his proficiency in woodworking, and after stints as a Paper Boy, Chemist delivery Boy, lawn mower (even though he didn't have a lawn mower), Macca’s server, footy was what Hilts wanted to make his career. From an early age, the Handyman displayed superstar qualities. In the Under 9’s he was unanimously voted “Best Clubman”, Under 11’s “Most Courageous”, Under 13’s “Most Enthusiastic”, Under 15’s “Most Encouraging” and finally in Under 17s “Most likely to turn up and play”. He was a club standout. It wasn’t long before AFL scouts got a sniff of his potential talent and were watching every game he played. Footy Mate Grant “the Pretty Boy” Bishop remembers those days. “For a while, to Col - footy was all about playing well and looking in the papers the next day to see if your name was there because you’d made the “bests” or were in the goalkickers. But once the scouts started coming, it was all about making the AFL….although he’d still grab a copy of the Herald-Sun every Monday morning to look for his name.”

Former coach Robbie Walls remembers the day he first came accross the Handyman. “It wasn’t hard to work out which one was Hilton. We rocked down to Pascoe Vale to see Young Hilts in a schoolboy clash. We’d just arrived and some poor kid slammed into one of the point posts and broke the thing into two pieces. Just as the Umpires were considering calling the game off, before we knew it, some young bloke had strolled over to the sidelines, grabbed his tools and before you knew it had constructed a new goalpost using nothing more than a nearby park bench. It was bloody genius. When the game re-started, he must have pulled in about 30 odd possessions in the final two quarters. Even better was that the whole time, he still had his bloody tool belt on!!”

It was his first year as Carlton Coach, and Robbie Walls liked what he saw. In no time, Hilton was in a Blues guernsey for the 1986 season. His impact at the club was immediate and in a season where he averaged 30 possessions a game, Hilts came a narrow 2nd in the Brownlow, a narrow 2nd in the Carlton Best and Fairest, and he helped guide the Blues to a narrow Grand Final Loss. The next year, it was largely off the back of Hilton’s play that the Blues won the Premiership title. By 1988, his third season at the club, he was shaping up as the most popular Carlton player ever. It wasn’t just the fans that loved him, but his fellow teammates and the back office boys down at Princess Park.

The halcyon days. Handyman celebrates another carlton victory with President John Elliot.

Boot Studder “Bluey” Johnson still has fine memories of a Young Hilton. “How could I ever forget Hilton. After winning a few Premierships in the 1980s most of those upstart players would barely say thanks when I gave em’ their boots after studding and polishing them. Not Hilton though. I’d polish the Handyman’s boots and the next thing you’d know, I’d go out to the carpark and see that Hilton would have completely overhauled my engine, built a roof for my trailer, given the car a polish and even fixed me stereo so it would play FM as well as AM !! Geez he was a good man that boy”

After nearly 20 years at the helm of Carlton, former President John Elliot remembers The Handyman’s exploits only to well. “It still gives me the shits when people only recognise the Handyman for just his on-field antics. You know what I say to that - Pigs bloody arse, he wasn’t just Handy-bloody-man Hilton, he was bloody-Handyman-bloody everything. I’ll never forget when we were trying to build the new stand at Princess Park. The club was spending way too much cash paying our shitty old veterans under the table so we ran out of money to complete the bloody thing when it was only 50% finished. Well damned if bloody Hilton didn’t walk out there one Friday morning with just a cheeky smile, and a hammer. Well, by game time on the Saturday arvo, the whole bloody thing was finished. It was of such high quality, we used to charge our dimwitted supporters a premium of $50 over the normal ticket price, just for the privilege of sitting in what soon became known as “The stand that the Handyman built”.

No matter what task coach Walls threw at the handyman, he always accepted it with a grin on his face. Said hawthorn toughman Robert DiPierdomenico, "he's the most tenacious opponent I've ever played against, and never stopped bloody yakking at you - not in a mean way though, he was always very polite".

Those were indeed good times for Hilton and the Carlton football club. However, the glory days quickly ended for the Handyman after one regretful, eventful and downright shockingly public display at the 1989 Melbourne Moomba Festival. With only a couple of weeks to go before the start of the 1989 season, newly appointed Blues Captain Hilton (Kernahan had stepped down in honour of Hilton’s exploits) decided to celebrate with a few mates and head down to the Yarra to take in the Birdman Rally and the Water Skiing. After about 20 celebratory VB’s what came next was both unexpected and ultimately led to the collapse of the Handyman’s career.

Schoolboy friend, Row “the Scro” Pinder remembers all to well… "Mate, I still remember it as if it was yesterday. After a few hours on the turps, Col had a truckload of piss in his belly and a cheeky smile on his face. When he spotted a mate of ours across the Yarra so he decided the right thing to do, was to go over and say G’day. Given it was a beautiful 30 degree Autumn day, he thought he’d save some time getting over there by resisting the obvious walk across the bridge, and instead stripped down to his birthday suit and set off for a swim across the river. You can imagine the commotion it caused, the guy was a bloody legend in town anyway, but when you combine that with a nationally televised Water Skiing event, the boy was always going to attract some pretty serious attention."

US wakeboard champion, Jeff Stringer, demanded an official enquiry into the condition of the ski course after nearly toppling of his board during his final run. "I could have sworn I saw some grinning idiot out there swimming". Despite strong denials, Moomba officials assured Stringer the matter would be looked into.

Indeed, when he eventually reached the other side and caught up with his mate, he quickly swore him to secrecy. However, a delusional Handyman quickly realised, that about a thousand sets of eyes on the crowded riverfront were already staring and reaching for their Cameras…..
The news made the front and back pages of the Herald-Sun and newspapers throughout the country.

The media was ruthless on the Handman, yet questions still abound about who the second "speedo" attired player was.

The fallout for Hilton was both instantaneous and swift. By 9.01 a.m. on the Monday morning the Carlton Football Club issued a press release announcing the sacking of the Handyman and the reappointment of Kernahan as Captain. Blues supporters were divided. The Yobbo’s and dickhead’s loved his larrikin antics, however the heavy influence of the largely disgusted caviar eating/champagne sipping Carlton North supporters sealed Hilton’s fate and ended his career in one swift move.

Hilton was a shattered man. In an effort to avoid the media attention, the Handyman locked himself away in the basement of his luxurious Pascoe Vale villa and spent hour after hour on his beanbag in front of the TV. There he sought solace in his only other passion – Music. Hour after hour he would watch and tape episodes of Rage, MTV and Countdown music shows. His reclusive lifestyle soon became a concern to family members who were the only people the Handyman would even grant the briefest of visits to.

In fact, these “visits” were usually just a ruse to deliver pizza’s and bring in a fresh washcloth for Col to bathe himself with. Sisters Evelyn and Diane remember all to well, “…The hygiene issues aside, we knew Col loved his music, but his obsession really became quite scary. His basement walls were filled with video after video after video. I reckon his collection of video clips would have outdone even the MTV archives. Not only did he meticulously write down the order of every single clip in a massive catalogue book, he also kept a record of the exact video time number on each tape so he could go straight to a particular song whenever he wanted. He refused to let anyone touch them, and started to call his collection “my precious”. It was downright weird”.

The Handyman’s freakish obsession uniquely revealed a previously hidden talent that resulted in a successful, yet widely secretive career in the music industry. Over time, the Handyman had in fact become amazingly proficient at imitating other musicians. After a year in his murky basement and tired of sleeping in his own waste, the Handyman finally ventured back into public life. Still scared of the public and a bit delusional from spending so much time in a dark room, the Handyman eased himself back into society by taking on the identity of an aboriginal actor/singer called - David Gulpilil, and covering himself from head to toe in mud.

With his act finely tuned, he bought a magnificent lime green Holden Panelvan (which he quickly named “The Green Machine”), put in a mattress, fitted an esky and loaded up his 250-piece Sydchrome tool set and headed away from the major cities into the Aussie Outback.It wasn’t long before the Handyman’s influence was felt all the way from Cooper Pedy to Broome and right up to Darwin. Shane “Tugger” Matthews from Wogga Wogga remembers the exploits of David Gulpilil as if it was yesterday. “Maaattee you’re shitting me? We had no idea old Gulpilil was the Handyman. He’s still a local legend around here. I reckon I saw him at least five or six times when he breezed through town. We loved him around here. There’s not to many chicks around these parts, so we had to love something. He did it all. From memory he used to do a very good Lisa Minnelli interpretation of "Caberet", but that wasn’t the extent of his repertoire......he did Michael Jackson…the glove…Midnight Oil...the jerky movements, Jimmy Barnes...blind drunk and screaming. Then of course there was the climax of his act - Bono...U2...He must have studied the guy for hours, days, shit maybe even years, we used to all swear it was Bono himself in front of us.”

Will the real Handyman Hilton please stand up?

Despite’s his incredible success on the alternate music charts, everytime the Handyman passed a footy field in any town, he couldn’t escape the disappointing memories following his Carlton ousting 5 years before. So he made the monumentus decision to leave his promising musical career behind him, pack his bags and head overseas. After throwing a dart at a world map and landing on Canada, that’s where he headed….Years later, it looked like Hilton had put footy behind for good. "To be honest, I thought I was done with footy forever. I knew I still had a lot to give to the game, but after being in Vancouver for a while, I met and married my beautiful wife Kym, and was happily settled living life as a Vancouver Handyman."

However that all soon changed on one fateful day as the Handyman was cruising down the Number 1 highway on the way from Langley to Vancouver. "There I was, just minding my own business putting along when all of the sudden I started to catch up to this shitbox of a car that was just pumping out a horrendous amount of blue smoke. When I pulled up behind it I saw it had a sign looking for people to play Aussie Rules. I pulled up next to the car and the driver just gave me this big cheeky smile and nodded as if to say G’day. I got him to pull over and proceeded to meet the great man Stu Grills. "

The rest as they say is history…

Chris "the (Melton) Kid" Freeman

2006-03-06T20:14:00.000-08:00

Melton – one of the fastest growing urban areas in Melbourne's Western Region.

Melton – a vibrant, rapidly growing community providing an urban/rural lifestyle with close access to Melbourne, major transport routes and an extensive range of services for the community, visitors and local businesses.

Melton – home of Australia's first indoor wave pool and some of Australia's best equestrian facilities.

Such world class statistics fade to insignificance for a shire of 50,000 people whose proudest claim to fame for their beloved city is –

Melton – Home of Chris "The Kid" Freeman.

On a late September afternoon in 1980, Collingwood had just lost their third Grand Final in four years, and in the backyard of 11 Bryan Court, K&J Freeman were handing their four year old son Chris a red oval shaped ball for the first time. A defining moment that would change the life of that young boy (and the lives of many others)…forever.

Over the ensuing years Aussie Rules Football became an obsession to the young Chris Freeman. Recalls "the Kid"… "To be honest, I don’t remember a time growing up when I didn’t have a footy in me hand. Whilst some of me mates would be playing in the street with their GI-Joes or Lego Kits, I’d be running up and down, bouncing me footy and trying to kick it through some tree for a goal."

On more than one occasion, his obsession lead to some severe accidents, uncommon even for a growing boy. "The Kid’s" mother remembers all too well. "I know boys will be boys, but for heaven’s sake, the number of times I tried to get that football off him…I tell you. I don’t know how many times he fell off his bike because he always had one arm wrapped around a football. His nose has been crooked ever since he was seven from one nasty fall he had, when he dropped the footy and it went between his wheel spokes. The only time we managed to get a football out of his hand was when we took him to hospital with suspected leather poisoning from over exposure to the Sherrin…of course when the doctor gave the all clear, the football went straight back under his arm. It was like a little security blanket for him."

Despite his mum's concerns, the tests for leather poisoning proved negative

"The Kid’s" father Kenny Freeman remembers things a bit differently. "There was nothing wrong with young Chris’s love of the footy. His over exposure of the oval ball gave him phenomenal skills from an early age. From all accounts he would dominate the kick-to-kick sessions on the playgrounds at Melton South Primary and later on at Melton High. Then...when I got him into the local underage leagues…well…the opposition coaches protested so much, that Chris had to always play an age group or two above his age so he wouldn’t dominate too much. He would still gather 30 odd possessions a game regardless. He was so small compared to the guys he was playing against. It wasn’t long before they dubbed him - "the Kid"."

Former Coach, Leigh Matthews, "Mesmerized"

Despite his dominance in the local underage leagues in and around Melton, it was a freakish incident that lead to "the Kid’s" amazing skills being noticed from a higher source. Said former Coach "Lethal Leigh" Matthews. "It was dumb luck I guess. Big Al McAllister and I were on the way back to Melbourne after a pre-season promotional tour in Ballarat. Big Al had forgotten to put enough petrol in the tank for the journey home, so we pulled over into a servo in Melton to top up the tank. As we were filling up, we both gazed across High Street and into the local High School playground. We became instantly mesmerized."

"There was this young kid of about 13 playing a scrimmage game against some kids who looked at least 3 years older than him. He was so quick, weaving through packs, doing freakish baulks, diving into packs… We didn’t need to see the boy in an actual game, what Big Al and I were witnessing was enough to immediately convince us that "The Kid" was good enough to play football at the highest level. Big Al ran across that street so fast to sign the boy up; I’ve never seen such a large frame move that quickly. Year’s later we would always look back and wonder how "The Kid" had gone unnoticed until then."

Within the month, young Chris was down at the training track and only a few short months later was lining up for the Pies in the first game of season 1991. He also did it as the youngest player ever at 14 years, 9 months.

Leading up to that first game, the pre-season hype surrounding "The Kid’s" selection to the Pies was not lost on the numerous prospective sponsor’s clamoring to sign "the Kid". Without having even set foot on the field for the Pies, in early 1991 Puma signed him up to a lucrative 3 year $100,000 per year contract. Such money seemed almost obscene to the 14 year old, and in his hometown of Melton, $100,000 literally made "The Kid" a "Melton Millionaire" overnight.

Prior to the 1991 season "The kid" signed a lucrative contract with sports giant, Puma, making him the first "Melton Millionaire".

"Mateee, the money. Shit. In me first year, I spent most of it on a nice 10 bedroom, 5 bathroom, 2 poolroom house next to me Mum and Dad’s in Bryan Court. I wanted to keep close to the family…let’s face it, I’d never cleaned a pair of my own jocks in me life…actually, now that I think of it, that stills holds true today. "

"The clothes I bought as well, such quality - the Levis acid wash denim (pants and jacket), the studded leather jacket, and let’s not forget the Ug Boots– I had a $500 pair with the finest Mohair wool lining that money could buy."

Despite winning the flag the previous year, the Pies as a team had a bad year in 1991, missing the final six by slumping to 7th. The one shining light in that season was their young superstar Chris "the Kid" Freeman. He constantly averaged 30 touches a game and romped home in the Copeland Trophy, beating his "veteran" 19 year old teammate (and previous idol) Tony Francis.
The story was no different in 1992 when despite finishing a disappointing 5th (after losing to St.Kilda in the elimination final), a dominate "Kid" won his second Copeland on the trot.

Nothing it seemed could go wrong for "The Kid". Said David Dywer on the Bacchus Marsh/Melton Express Telegraph…"It was amazing. "Kidmania" swept through Melton faster than a plague of flies on their way to Werribee. I heard that during the period of 1991/92, Collingwood memberships doubled virtually overnight as it seemed like every Melton resident wanted to see their beloved son play in the Black & White."

Despite his success, "The Kid" would always return home to his luxury villa in Melton between games and the local drinking establishment’s even turned a blind eye to the underage "Kid" venturing into their establishments.

Owner of local hot spot – Pure Nightclub– J.C Jackson, still remembers those halcyon days as if they were yesterday. "We loved "The Kid" down here at the Pure. During the 90’s, Saturday night here was the biggest thing outside of Melbourne. I created a drink called "The Kid" which consisted of a shot each of vodka, tequila, bundy rum, scotch, and of course Chris’s favorite - peach schnapps. We’d mix all the spirits together, shake it up and then serve it in a baby’s bottle chilled to minus 3 degrees. It was only available on Saturday nights, and the promotion was out of control man. People would come from Ballarat, Bacchus Marsh, Geelong – you name it. We’d have a queue all the way down McKenzie Street back up Station Street, on to High Street and then back down Palmerston Street. Two full city blocks!! ...and if "The Kid" showed up after a big game – well you can just imagine the pandemonium."

"The Kid’s" dominance soon rubbed off onto his teammates, and a miraculous stretch of victories at the start of the 1993 saw the Pies atop the ladder mid way through the year.
That is of course until that tragic day, June 27th, 1993. A date forever labeled a day of mourning in Melton.

The great Bruce McEvaney made the call on Channel 7 that day. "Freeman gets the ball from Russell; "the Kid" has been so ssssspppeeeeeecciiaalllll today...he takes a bounce... and another bounce...oh dear...oh that is shocking…that really is sickening… "The Kid" is reeling... he's down, he’s clearly in a lot of pain…the blood is flowing. "The Kid" has beaten Worsfold all day and it looks like Worsfold knew exactly where to take it out on "The Kid"...right on that enormous proboscis...I don’t know if that blood is ever going to stop, there must be a fair sized vein up there... "

In fact, with a vicious elbow, Worsfold had indeed shattered "The Kid’s" nose and fractured it in five places. On arrival at St.Vincents hospital, just a five minute drive from the MCG, before Doctor’s would even contemplate working on "The Kid’s" nose, an immediate blood transfusion was called for to replace the two pints of blood that had already flowed out of his shattered schnozz.

The devastating injury required extensive re-hab and kept "The Kid" out of the remaining nine home and away games - a run that saw the team go 2-7 (with their only wins against the Tigers and Carlton) and slip from 1st to 8th on the ladder. Despite his injury, "The Kid" was determined to play the last game of the season for the Pies in an attempt to sneak them into the final six. Unfortunately club doctors could not manufacture a suitable facemask in time to meet the AFL’s stringent requirements on facial protection. In the end, lacking their young champion, the Pies went down by less than a goal as an inconsolable "Kid" sat on the sidelines.

As 1994 drifted by, "The Kid’s" nose would not heal properly despite 5 separate metal plates inserted into various positions. The setback hit "The Kid" hard and his fitness lapsed. Unable to take the field, his time soon began to be dominated by his new passion – gambling. Despite still being underage, if he wasn’t down at his local tracks in Ballarat, Werribee, or Geelong "The Kid" would make the trek into Melbourne to hang out at the Kew Junction TAB with the rest of his Collingwood teammates for a weekend punt.

His career at Collingwood came to a screeching halt after the now infamous night on his 18th birthday. Despite not playing for the first half of the year, a gala invitation only event held at the Golden Fleece Hotel in Melton was packed with 2000 friends, teammates and family crammed into the Pub and the surrounding side streets. Egged on by his teammates, "The Kid" celebrated his coming of age by downing drink after drink after drink.

It was only the next morning when "The Kid" awoke in the gutter outside a local news agency (after a lengthy snooze on the street) that he became fully aware of the very hazy events of the night before. There on the front page of the Herald-Sun newspaper was a photo of "The Kid" standing in the middle of the Golden Fleece bar, his pants around his ankles, with a cigarette in one hand an empty bottle of Jim Bean in the other. Evidently a photographer from the paper had snuck past security and into the festivities.

The photos and accompanying story caused outrage in the community. Under pressure from the AFL Players Association, the League, and the fact that he hadn’t yet played a game in season 1994, the Magpies regretfully had to cut their ties with "the Kid".

"The Kid's" life was at rock bottom. Still, despite this, there was one thing that kept a smile on his face – his expansive collection of "adult themed" videos. They certainly kept him popular with his ex-Collingwood teammates who would always just "happen to be in the neighborhood" during one of "The Kid’s" regular Friday night showings.

After only a couple of weeks away from the Pies, "The Kid’s" career was quickly resurrected when local side Melton won the battle to secure his services. It was a move they would live to love! The locals of course loved him, and the struggling Melton team’s crowd numbers for home games went through the roof. They were so glad to have him home, they even allowed "The Kid" to wear both the number 33 - for home games and 37 – for away games (Melton’s postcode - "The Kid's" own unique homage to his hometown).

Struggling at the bottle of the ladder half way through the 1994 season, Melton’s fortunes were turned around overnight as "The Kid" took them on an unbeaten run of 10 straight games and into the Riddell League Grand Final against arch rivals – Melton South.

Said Golden Fleece Bar owner, Donald "The Dodger" Johnson, "Look, sure we were disappointed with "The Kid’s" behavior at his 18th birthday party earlier in the year, but he was always a favorite in our hearts. When he played down here, my wife Merryl and I would be down at Blackwood Drive Reserve at 9 a.m on the dot when the gates opened to reserve our spot at the front of the stand. We wanted the best view in the house to watch "the Kid’s" magic."

"Merryl still has a piece of turf she took from the field during "The Kid’s" last game…Actually, to be honest, our backyard is filled with clumps of grass from every game "The Kid" played. We didn’t know if he’d get himself into trouble again and never knew when he would play his last game "again" - We had to make sure we were covered."

"He was a phenomenon around here. The party would never stop after a fine performance by "The Kid". After each game, we’d all come back to the Fleece and from 33 to 37 past each hour (in honour of "the Kid’s number’s) we’d have 2 for 1 drinks…always popular with the local yobs."

Donald "The Dodger" Johnson and wife Merryl were only too happy to ear-bash the locals down at The Golden Fleece about another senasational performance by "The Kid".

However, the fairytale comeback was not to be completed that year as arch rivals, Melton South, dispatched of Melton convincingly in the final despite yet another 40+ possession game from "The Kid".

That final was an ominous sign to come for the young champion. Despite dominating nearly every game he played, "The Kid" suffered yet more finals tragedy with Melton when they lost to Darley in the 1995 final and then went down again in the 1996 Grand Final.

If the finals’ debacle wasn't enough for "The Kid" his gambling problem certainly was! Still living largely off his compensation from his massive Puma contract, "The Kid" was known to think nothing of $1,000 - $2,000 bets at a time down at the track. It all ended in 1995 when "The Kid" announced to all and sundry in Melton that "Nothing Leica Dane" in the Melbourne Cup at 20/1 was a sure thing. "The Kid" bet the house on it - literally. Only a few hours after his horse went down narrowly to "Doriemus", "The Kid" was onto his real estate agent.

"It was a tough time - a tough time - I had to sell me house after that bet. Left with only about $50,000 after I’d paid off me booky, I had to downgrade from the 10 bedroom palace to a simple 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house. I also checked meself into Gambler’s Anonymous to cure me of me little "problem", "The Kid" later recalled.

The best cure it seemed, was football, and a move to the Ballarat Football League got "The Kid" upbeat for better fortune. This however did not last long as once again, in the 1998 Grand Final - Melton tragically went down to Sunbury.

Despite his personal crisis, the 90s were a boom time for football in Melton and the surrounding area’s. "The Kid" may no longer have been playing AFL, but his legend was spreading far and wide.

Alan Comrie – Mayor of Bacchus Marsh. "Quite frankly I never liked "The Kid" at all. He single handedly destroyed the fabric that made Bacchus Marsh the magnificent town it once was. For 100 years we were the 2nd fastest growing exurban area in Victoria. In 1990 our population was 50,000. Then... "The Kid" came along. From 1991 to 2001, we progressively became a shattered town of only 23,500 struggling farmers as a mass exodus has seen more than half our community depart south down the Western Freeway. I thought when he finished at Collingwood, thing’s would change, but he was so dominate in the Riddell and then Ballarat League’s, people around here just couldn’t get enough of him. He’s not a favorite around here, that’s for sure. In fact, I’m quite proud of the fact that I recently got approval from the Morrabool Shire Council to form the "We hate Chris "The Kid" Freeman fan club". It’s proved extremely popular and we already have exactly 23,500 members."

The one thing that "The Kid" longed for was a premiership medal. After a 3rd and 4th finish in 1999 and 2000, "The Kid" became disillusioned with football and decided to take the summer holiday period off for a jaunt around Canada. It didn’t take him long to be a hit at the local nightspots. It was on one of those nights’s that he spied a nice young Canadian girl – Mel deRosa. She was quickly pulled in by "The Kid’s" obvious charm, however, with his Visa fast running out (editor's note: this refers to his immigration visa, as all credit cards had been suspended due to "The Kid's" prior gambling problems), "the Kid" had to pull some swift moves to convince his new love to follow him back to Melton.

On arrival back home in Australia, "The Kid" found his voicemail filled with messages from new Pies coach Mick Malthouse. After a disappointing last place finish for the Pies in 1999 under Tony Shaw, new coach Malthouse was desperate to turn the Pies fortunes around and set about recruiting the finest talent available to bolster the Pies lineup. He didn’t have to look far.

As it turns out, Mick’s brother had a house in downtown Melton and had been singing the praises of a "rejuvenated" Kid Freeman to his brother for the entire summer.

Melton were unhappy to see him go, but ‘The Kid" longed for his old life back down at Vic Park again. His happiness didn’t last long though. In only his first training session back at the club, Magpie hard man Jaroyd Molloy accidentally ploughed into "The Kid". His shoulder crunched into "The Kids" weakened schnoz, almost splitting it in two. A broken hearted "Kid" bled profusely. He was summoned to the Magpie match committee that night, who believing the schnoz could not handle the highest level, released "The Kid" back to Melton.

In anticipation of "The Kid's" comeback, Collingwood Football Club printed a commemorative poster which, despite the shortlived comeback, is still considered a collector's item.

A broken man, "The Kid" was not out of the headlines for long when he made the controversial switch to arch rivals Melton South. The move not only sent a shockwave around Melton, but the entire football world. "The Kid" wanted desperately to play in a winning Grand Final side. Yet "The Kid’s curse would not lift, as later that year, his new club Melton South was crushed by 138 points by none other than…his old side Melton.

His football life in tatters, and disillusioned with life, soon to be wife Mel convinced "The Kid" to make the move across the Pacific to Vancouver.The move however, wasn’t an easy one. Wife Mel recalls the early days…"I knew from the start I’d have to go out of my way to make Christian feel at home here in Vancouver. I did everything I could to make the transition easier for him… I stuck Collingwood team posters on the walls,…I’d wash his Collingwood jumper after every wear, whether it was dirty or not,… I cooked him meat pies and sausage rolls for dinner,… I even got Fox Sports on the Cable so he could watch the footy highlights each week. To be honest though, that last one nearly backfired on me. I could never get him to come to bed at night because he used to tape the games and then watch them over and over again. Eventually I had a masterstroke. Each night around 10 p.m. I’d make a big paper machee banner and tape it to the bedroom door with "Go Chris, Go" written on it. Without fail, he just couldn’t resist the urge to get up off the couch and run straight through it."

Mel's tender tribute to another scoring milestone by her husband, "The Kid". Inset: Having completed the nightly "run-through", Mel dons the grease paint in traditional Collingwood colours - a sure bet for a big night!

Still, despite Mel’s best efforts, "The Kid" still had a strong desire to play the game he loved. "Finally I’d had enough of Chris’s constant whining about not being able to play footy anymore…and I certainly did not enjoy the trips down to the park for "kick to kick" where Chris would basically bomb a footy at me from 50 metres away and expect me to try and grab it and kick it back. Quite frankly, I don’t find being hit in the face with a hard ball time and time again very funny…and then there was the crazy talk about "going home on the next plane to Melbourne" to get a bit of footy action. So finally I got on the web, hit "Vancouver Footy", and thank god, there was the Cougars website."

"The Kid" was besotted and spent the next two days at his local North Shore internet café reading every scrap of word on the Cougars website. "Mate, I was like a kid in a candy store. You wouldn’t have believed the size of the smile on me face. I was as giddy as a schoolgirl."

Indeed, the next day "The Kid" was on the training track for the Cougars and despite being out of action for over a year, walked straight into the victorious NWPAFL Grand Final side,… a sweet reward for a man who had suffered so much Grand Final heartache playing in Melton.
"I love playing with the Cougars. It’s not the AFL, but it’s just as good a feeling streaming out of the centre and hitting Vargo with a bullet pass as it was doing it for Sav Rocca in the early 90s."

Life it seemed was finally going the right way for "The Kid". "There was of course a brief hiccough. To be honest it’s not something I like to talk about too much anymore, but the relationship with Melissa was almost over a few month’s before the big wedding day. I was happy with her to organize all the details, but I insisted on one thing – that the wedding ceremony be held in the middle of Victoria Park. Why was that such an unreasonable request? Mel was a converted Collingwood fan, I thought she’d love the idea. Evidentially not. We didn’t speak for about 3 weeks. I was determined I was not going to budge, but I have to concede that marriage’s are all about compromises. Finally we reached an agreement. If I agreed to get married in Canada, Mel would let me have "good old Collingwood forever" as our wedding march and first dance. A win-win situation for both of us."

With their first real tiff over, the rest as they say…is history. So now, just over a year on from his arrival to Vancouver, "The Kid’s" life finally seems to have settled into some sort of a normalcy.

"Mate, no regrets. The move hasn’t been so bad. Sure I miss me mates back home, but Mel’s a great missus - super cook, easy on the eye, and she certainly puts up with most of me crap. I’m happy to be here in Vancouver, that’s for sure. I guess if you were to put me on the spot though and ask me, who’s the more important aspect in me life at the moment - the Cougars or Mel… I’d have to say Mel for sure…but still, I’ve only been with the Cougars for less than a year now, so further down the track, who knows…"

So, with his base now firmly in Canada, "The Kid" might be lost to Australia, but one thing’s for sure, he’ll never be lost to Melton. So the next time you’re flying down the Western Highway on the way back to Melbourne, take the time to admire the enormous sign erected just to the left of the smaller Tidy Town 2000 sign, which says: Melton – the spiritual home of our favourite son – Chris "The Kid" Freeman.

Evan "The Wiz" Orzirny

2006-03-06T17:05:00.000-08:00

The Wiz weaves his usual magic as he takes a takes amagnificent mark to set up his 50th possession for the game

…it’s 5.a.m on a Sunday morning in a frigid field just a few kilometers away from Melville, just south of Yorkton in Saskatchewan. It’s January 22nd and the temperature has just dropped to minus 20 degrees (minus 40 degrees with the windchill). Yet while most people are fast asleep dreaming away merrily with their heaters pumping overtime, a lone figure is busy pacing out laps on a snow covered wheat field….the man thousands of mad and loyal Aussie rules football fans once knew as… the Wizard of Oz.

14 years earlier, in a farmhouse not far from that very field, was where Evan Ozirny first came in contact with the great game of Australian Rules Football. Recalls Evan… "it was late November in 1989 on yet another f*&$in cold day in the prairies. I was down in the basement with my old man trying desperately to pick up the Grey Cup final on our old ham radio. My beloved Saskatchewan Roughriders were playing in the final for the first time in 13 years and the game was going down to the wire in the second half."

"All of a sudden we had a power surge as one of the huge freighter trains from the nearby rail line rattled through town on it’s way to Winnipeg. The radio started picking up signals from radio stations all over the world – Japanese, French, German, you name it. Then all of the sudden it got stuck on 3LO in Melbourne, Australia. I’ll never forget it. They were replaying the call of some game that had happened earlier in the year. I remember the first words that came crackling out…Ohhhh - Winmar takes a SCCCCCCRRRRRRRREEEEEEMMMMMERR. He plays on and handballs to Burke, he takes a bounce, launches long to Plugggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrr. This will be his 10th goal for the game, he’s a freak…"

"I was in awe. I listened to the station for the next 2 hours straight. I even missed the fact that the Roughriders had won a 43 – 40 thriller. I was too scared to change the channel in case I lost it. For the next year I sat transfixed in front of the old ham radio on Saturday morning’s as they called the games. Right from the start I felt a great loyalty to the Sainters. Before 1989, the Roughriders last Premiership was in 1966, so I knew I’d have to adopt St.Kilda as my team. Sure they were crap, but I was a loyal supporter, and nothing was going to change my mind.

I became obsessed with the game. We didn’t have the internet in those days, so I wrote to Channel 7 down there in Melbourne and requested Beta tape after Beta tape of games they’d shown. After each game I’d head out the Paddock and kick a Gridiron ball around (I didn’t have a footy then). I’d set up my own tacking drills with the cattle, and set up running drills in and amongst the wheat field’s."

Indeed his commitment to the game could not be questioned. Local farmer Billy Ray Bob remembers those early days in Evan’s career well. "I used to drive by the Ozirny farm on the tractor whereby I’d see this strange kid kicking a gridiron ball through these two trees… he’d then run between the trees, turn around and stick two fingers out with this big smile on his face. I didn’t know what the hell he was up to. He looked good doing it though."

His commitment soon turned to obsession. One of his early love interests, Mary Sue Willowker remembers the drills all to well, "He became obsessed with trying to kick his football over a wheat silo when he’d heard some guy called Billy Brownless had done it in Australia. He was mad. He did get his picture in the local paper for it though…"

Sun Cartoonist, Jeff Hook's view of the importance of the "Wizard of Oz" to St.Kilda in the lead up to the 1997 finals.

The news of Evan’s startling progress spread rapidly and it wasn’t long before word had made it all the way to Australia. New Sainters coach Stan Alves was desperate to make an impact at Morrabbin and dispatched a scout to Canada in the summer of 1995. It was the "Coup of the Century" quotes Sainters recruitment manager Johnny Fisher. "Only god knows how we got the tip about Evan,…actually, it may have had something to do with the 2 page letter Evan wrote to us telling us how good he was…anyway, when I saw him play, I was in awe of his raw talent and love of the game. I’d never seen someone with such a commitment to master the game. I’d booked his ticket to Oz within 2 hours, and before I left I gave him a few extra pointers on the finer aspects of the game just to brush up on his already freakish skill base.."

Two weeks later, Evan almost missed that flight down to Morrabbin after a wild going away party at the Queensbury Downs Casino in Regina. At the time, young Evan was nicknamed "Owhatchyano" or "he who can tip like no other" by the local natives. The local Casino’s knew it too, and after taking heavy losses time and time again at the tables by Evan’s supernatural ability to pick a winning hand of cards, or numbers at the Roulette table, banned him from a number of casino’s including the Golden Eagle in North Battlefield, and the Emerald and the Marquis Downs in Saskatoon. Within an hour of his arrival he had already racked up an extraordinary amount of cash at the Queensbury and security was brought in to turf the youngster out. A scuffle naturally ensued and Evan was keen to put his newly learnt "hip and shoulder" skills to practice. Unfortunately for Evan, the two bouncers assigned to him were both 300+ pound linebackers from the Saskatchewan Huskies Gridiron team and didn’t take to kindly to Evan’s perfectly executed hip and shoulder. So the next morning as Evan bordered his 747 bound for Morrabbin, he carefully nursed a broken jaw courtesy of the side of one of Regina’s hardest dumpster’s.

Despite being completely unknown in Australia when he set foot off the plane, the time was ripe for the then 28 year old. He fit right in to the line up, and despite completely missing the pre-season, Alvesy was confident that his fitness would be up to scratch to play in the Sainter’s side.
So in early February of 1996, Evan was thrust into the side straight in time for Round 1 of the Ansett Cup. With the tragic departure of Plugger at the end of the 1995 season, the Saints needed a new hero, and after only one game, that hero became the wonder boy from Canada. In his first game (a victory that stunned even the most loyal of Sainter supporters), Evan starred in his position off the back flank and racked up a whopping 45 possessions. The fans went crazy.

"Everyone claimed it was one of the coldest days at VFL Park ever, and that evidently was saying something, but to me it was like mid-summer, I mean it was 5 degrees. I could have played in a pair of speedo’s and still felt comfortable."

Right from the start it was obvious Evan was at home in the vast paddock type expanses of VFL Park and took to it like a duck to water. It wasn’t long before he was dishing out the same type of performance week in, week out. It may have been the pre-season competition, but he was delivering the goods.

The Cheersquad were his most ardent supporters, and they knew from the start they needed a catchy name for this "legend-to-be", and they needed one fast. So on a late Friday night as half the squad was racking their brains trying to decide between witty banner headers such as "Saints, Saints, please give us a win, prevent me from throwing my membership in the bin" and "..Oh I want to be at that game, when the Saints finally go marching to a win.." the other half of the squad was trying to pool their collective brainpower to come up with an appropriate nickname. So after a good 4 hours, and a dinner break consisting of 23 refreshing Tab cola’s, a couple of packets of Twisties, some dodgy chiko rolls and a few dimsims the squad was still torn between "The Saskatchewan Sainter", and the "Charismatic Canadian". Eventually both were thrown out when half the squad couldn’t say Saskatchewan (as it was more than two syllables), whilst the rest didn’t know where Canada was. Then out of nowhere it came…

Quotes senior cheer squad member Davo Johnson, " It was inspiroackional,… I mean it was just inpured,...mmmmnn, it was just Super. Out of nowhere Jacko asked if any one actually knew Evan’s last name. When Johnno said it was Ozirny, almost straight away I said – what about "The Wizard of Oz". It went down as a treat. As a result, I get to be the one to hold the largest pom-pom this week…I’m chuffed…."

The Wiz was so dominant, he was almost singlehandly responsible for the 96 Ansett Cup victory. It was humungous for the long serving Saints supporters. Many fans thought this was about as close as they’d ever get to a real premiership, having gone 30 years since that famous Barry Breen point to win the 1966 premiership. "The fans went ballistic. I had barely gotten off the podium from getting my man of the match award when the fans mobbed me. They absolutely stripped me naked. They even got my lucky Canadian jocks I wear under my footyshorts. I was devastated,...my mum had given me those. She’d picked them up in a 2 for 1 sale at Cosco. I actually had to run back to the change rooms in the buff."

Thankfully, after a heart felt plea to the fans during the wake the next day at Morrabbin, a reluctant Beryl Johnson, 63, returned the lucky jocks in time for game one of the regular season. "Sure I felt a touch of disappointment giving them back. I had to fight off 3 young buxom high school girls for this. Still the Wiz gave me one of his socks as a replacement. I tell you what, if I was 25 again, I’d be all over that young hunk."

His performance in that Ansett Cup final is still regarded as possibly the greatest game of football ever played by anyone who has ever graced a footy field at any level... EVER! As testament to his impact on football, not only at St.Kilda, but on the game itself, in 2002 as Ansett began to crumble and with no immediate sponsor for it's pre-season competition, the League voted unanimously to re-name the Ansett Cup - the Wizard Cup, in honor of the Wiz, a name that still remains today.

Whilst the rest of 96 turned into yet another let down for the fans, The Wiz continued his dominance into the next season where an amazing run saw the Saints climb all the way to the regular season Grand Final, largely due to game after game of inspirational play by the Wiz. Said former Sainters teammate and now coincidently current Cougars teammate Rob "The Guru" Edmonds, "We formed a dynamic duo in the backline during those tumultuous days in the mid-nineties, the Wiz and I. I was know as the Guru, but he was always the Wiz who could conjure up the magic. I always thought I was the better player technically, but there could be no denying The Wiz’s commitment to the hard ball. On more than one occasion I remember the Wiz sweeping up a loose ball after I’d dropped yet another easy overhead mark."

Said Sainters Legend Nicky Winmar, "Before the Wiz, I was the one who conjured up the Black Magic for the side, but it wasn’t long before the Wiz’s magic took over. Initially I was a bit jealous, but I was soon quite happy to pass the torch to such a legend."

A despondent Wiz reluctantly joins in the celebrations for his "partner in magic" - Nicky Winmar's 200th game, after only moments earlier suffering what turned out to be the career ending knee injury.

Still, despite a 50 possession game, the Sainters were no match for Adelaide in the Grand Final. The crushing loss shattered the Sainters and the Wiz in particular. "I won’t lie, I took it very hard. It wasn’t long before I was drawn into the web that is the Crown Casino and pissed away the off-season on beer and the roulette tables. That is of course until they banned me from winning to often in the Oak Room."

The infamous poster issued to Crown Casino employees, which has now become a collectors item amongst Saints supporters.

The Wiz was never the same. A crushing knee injury in Round one of the 1998 season ended his season and prevented any chance of the Sainters had of getting back to the Grand Final. The Wiz was distraught, so much so that despite the many pleas of his loving fans, he returned to the comforts of life in Canada after only 2 full seasons in the AFL.

"I loved footy, but I just couldn’t handle not being in a position to perform at my ultimate best. The injury crushed me and I felt it best to come home and recuperate. Unfortunately, I just never made it back there."

The formation of the Vancouver Cougars in 2001 and a newly installed metallic kneecap rejuvenated the mighty Wiz, and that niggling desire to once again lace on the boots for the game he loves got to him.

..and so as he headed into his second season as a Cougar, whilst the rest of his teammates were spending the winter break hitting the slopes of Whistler, or bludging in front of the TV watching sport, there was The Wiz, cutting a lonely figure as he pounds lap after lap around that cold field in Saskatchewan.

Jason "Goalsneak" Stratford

2006-03-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

A Man for All Seasons. Adelaide's Jason Stratford marks against the Swans

"... I regret to announce the premature retirement of one of our truly, greatest champions - Jason Stratford. I can report now, that the rumours circulating the media over the last week of a possible High Profile Adelaide player moving to another sport are true. This morning Strat’s informed me of his heart wrenching decision to leave the Crows and pursue his new passion – International figure skating".

Those were the unforgettable and shocking words of Crows coach Malcolm Blight to a packed media conference at Football Park at the start of the 1999 footy season. As one sport lost a true champion of the game, another sport gained one.

With Jase’s recent triumph in the Winter Olympics and as his former AFL club formulate a new run at the Premiership flag it seems only fitting to take a look back at this young man’s illustrious yet diverse career.

As a young man growing up in the shadow of the Adelaide Hills, from an early age Stratford’s family knew he was destined for greatness. His Aunt Merill said recently…oh he was a feisty little youngster. He was always leaping around the place. I couldn’t keep him still. He used to love jumping up on the top of the Hills hoist and swinging around like he was flying through the air or something. Next door neighbor "Bruiser" McGavin remembers…Yeah he used to play with me young son Shane…even at a young age Jase knew how to handle a large pair of balls…sorry, I mean a large ball, ..footy, you know what I mean.

In the mad football town of Adelaide, it wasn’t long before Jase had taken up, and began to dominate Aussie Rules Football. As a sprightly 15 year old in 1986 he burst onto the scene as full forward for Norwood. Coach Neil Balme recalls…He was a freak from an early age. Loved to get into the packs and grapple with the opposition…also loved to take a speckie and ham it up to the crowds. Didn’t mind a goal either…

So much so, through season 1987 to 1990, Jase headed the SANFL goal-kicking table. His career seemingly culminating with the Magarey medal in 1990. But better things were yet to come.
With the formation of the Adelaide Crows, Jase burst onto the AFL scene by winning the Crows goalkicking award in their first season of 1991. He went onto maintain the top goalkicking award in 1991 and the local yobbo’s loved it.

Percy Johnson from Norwood recalls. I’ve followed his career ever since he was a youngster in the SANFL. Oh he was great up front that Jason. He probably could have been a star playing from the backline too, but he was just too good upfront.

His two year reign at the top though was to come to a screeching holt when in season 1992 the Crows introduced new glamour high flying full forward Tony Modra. In hindsight, it seems that this was the moment that Jase seemed to begin his downward spiral of confidence, as year after year he always seemed to fall just a goal or two behind Modra on the Crows goal kicking list. An amazing 1993 season even saw Jase bag a mammoth 128 goals for the year, but it just wasn’t quite enough to pip Modra’s 129 goals.

This never diminished his fan base though, and few people in the crowd at Footy Park could forget his amazing contribution to football in Adelaide. Quotes- Tony Modra. I was always jealous of Jase. Sure, I may have had the flowing blonde locks, the tight muscular body and the permanent tan, but the fans still loved him...Not just the chicks but I think even a fair few of the fellas as well.

As the Crows marched on towards the 98 final’s series, things were to drastically change in Stratford’s career when, in the final few round’s of the 1998 season, the Crows brought in a local Figure Skating troupe (The Glenelg IceCapades) to help the team’s fitness work.

Jase was bamboozled by the high flying moves and the flexibility of the troupe. Yeah I remember that night clearly, recalls Andrew McGuiness. Jase stayed behind with the troupe for about 2 hours after training to swap moves and techniques with them. Jase used to love his high flying marks on the footy field, I guess it wasn’t much different to one of those dancers/skater , whatever they are, doing one of their big rotation moves…

It wasn't long after being introduced to these members of the International Ice Skating Organization that Stratford developed a lot of new traits on the footy field. In particular, he quickly began a pattern of always looking towards where he believed the judges to be seated and flashing a confident smile, even when the ball was nowhere near him.

The Crows coaching staff had noticed the difference but did not appreciate it. They had finally had enough when, despite a humiliating loss to Collingwood, Jason persisted in displaying a "winning" smile as he strolled from the field.

The infamous smirk that led to Jase's footy retirement.

Still, Jase’s showboating began to become a problem, and soon his stat’s began to drop as his interest in the game declined. Every game, Strat’s would go for speckie after speckie. However, the fans didn’t seem to appreciate that, what looked like awkward landings as he came down were in fact perfect triple sow cows.

The start of Jase's new career.

His teammates began to notice the difference too. Said Nigel Smart…when McLeod and I shaved our heads and asked Jase to join in, he didn’t want a bar of it. Said it would affect his chances down at the Heaven Nightclub just off Rundle Mall. I had my doubts though. That excuse just seemed like a load of crap. We knew then that Footy was no longer for him.

A decision on his career was looming. Despite 5 top 3 finish’s in the Crows B&F awards during his career, it was always the goal kicking title that inspired him onwards. It was a final shattering blow in what was to be his penultimate season in 1998, that despite the departure of Modra, Jase still finished 1 goal short on the Crows goal kicking. This time to Darren Jarman. So despite a triumphant premiership season, his final decision was made. With his heart wrenching between a new career in Figure Skating and that in Football, he chose the former.

Football’s loss was figure skating’s gain however as Jase’s flair for the sport was as intense as his early football career at Norwood. He was a phenomenon on the domestic scene. Taking out the Australian Championships in Ballarat in his first year of Competitive skating in 1999. (He later triumphed in the 2000 and 2001 championships). Only a year later he finished a competitive second in the 2000 World’s to the "Crusher from Russia" skating superstar Igor Sonovabich.

Despite numerous titles from events all over the world, his new career hit its highest peek during his amazing run at the 2002 Winter Games in Salt Lake City. Few Australian’s who had stayed up until 2 am will now forget that phenomenal moment where Jase pulled off the first competitive Triple Sow Cow, Quadruple axil, Triple Sow Cow combination to seal the gold. For weeks the local catch-cry of Australians and especially South Australians was "where were you when Jase did the Triple-Quaddie-Triple"…

Stratford after landing his famous Triple-Quaddie-Triple.

Long time rival, Canadian Elvis Stojko admitted… he revolutionized men’s figure skating. His decision to switch from the traditional long tights to the tight footy shorts was a hit with both the fans and the judges from the very first instance. I had no idea the meat and two vege could be packed so tightly into a pair of shorts. I have no doubt that tightness helps him get the height he needs to pull of those winning combinations. It always puts a smile on my face when I see him strutting his very public stuff on the rink…

If he wasn’t a national icon before, he is now. On his triumphant return from the Winter Olympics, immediate calls were made in his home town of Adelaide to erect a new statue in his honour. The hope was the fans from around the country who would normally have come for the Grand Prix would instead flock to the City of Chruches to pay homage to the great man’s statue.
The vote was a unanimous "yes". However, there was much debate as to how it should look. Both his old, but still very loyal footy fans had one idea, whilst his ever increasing national figure skating fans had another idea. So in true South Australian spirit, they settled for a compromise….and so, in the middle of Rundle Mall there is now a 20 foot statue of Jase decked out in his tight figure skating kit (with skates on) taking a screamer over an opponent with the footy in his hand...

Timmy "Like a Tiger" McGrath

2002-03-06T16:54:00.000-08:00

Tim "Like A Tiger" McGrath scores the winning goalin his final game for Richmond.

"….the Tigers bomb the ball long into the forward line,… Richardson flies nigh for a speckie… Oh, crunch!! ….the ball spills loose the deck… there’s a scramble for the ball, in flies McGrath… he scoops up the ball, takes a bounce, and… full pelt from fifty metres out, he snaps and……speccciiaaalll!

He’s done it again! With 2 seconds left on the clock the Tiges have hit the front for the first time in the game and …there’s the siren! The Tigers have won it for Timmy. What a career, what a champion. The Tigers beat the Blues in the final game of 2002 in the battle for the Wooden Spoon, but more importantly they give their great Champion McGrath the send off he so deserves."

That was the final call on a magnificent career that spanned 13 years, 202 games, 10 B&F awards, 19 state games, 5 All Australian selections (2 as captain) and 1 little league premiership. On that "First Saturday in September" in 2002 the career of one of Richmond’s greatest came to a close.

From a very early age "Like a Tiger" Timmy showed exceptional promise as an AFL footy player. As a 13 year old, he was already playing Senior footy in the Shepperton League just near the family property. "Yeah, the farm was great to practice my footy skills. I used to always get out and tip a few cows at night, or tackle the sheep during the day… I loved the way the wool felt on my skin even back then".

Those days paid off for Timmy when a fortunate incident occurred in the winter of 1989. A Richmond scout, who happened to be lost, passed through Shepparton on a trip from Mildura to Melbourne and stumbled onto a cow paddock in Shepparton where Timmy was playing a game in the local league. "Like A Tiger" amassed a massive 45 possessions on that day and the rest, as they say, is history.

Timmy suited up for the Tiges the very next year and in his very first game as a 15 year old, lined up on one Gary "Gazza" Abblett. "Yeah, not the best way to start your career. I think I lined up on the back flank on Gazza. Unfortunately I got dragged at quarter time after the bastard had scored 8 on me in the first 20 minutes. He was a freak that man".Not the greatest start, but things were to change for "Like A Tiger" and it wasn’t long before he settled into the Ruck Rover position and quickly made it his own. Whilst in his 202 games he never seemed to master the art of the overhead grab, he became known for his ferocity around the packs and his dogged determination.

It wasn’t always roses and peaches though for the Tigers Champion. During his early years, the young buck was often dogged by personal scandals and controversies both on and off field including underage drinking and pot smoking before games. Few could forget the very public infamous post match bust up with Wayne Campbell as the players were leaving the MCG after the Tiges were bundled out of the 1995 final series. Rumour has it that Wayne had made a comment comparing his own long flowing locks to Timmy’s fast evaporating cranium hair. A comment which was answered with a couple of quick punches to Wayne’s head.

Despite those early indiscretions, it didn’t stop "Like ATiger" Timmy gaining a huge army of supporters down at Punt Road, that made him the undisputed club favourite. None more so than the famed Tigers Blue Rinse Brigade; the 20 or so "60-somethings" that always sit behind the Punt Road end goals at all Tigers MCG games. One of the squad, Phyllis Dyer, 64, of Bridge Road, Richmond recalls Timmy’s first game. "Boy was he a young little fella. He looked like he’d just set foot out of primary school. He was a terror though. He was diving into packs and getting into scapes right from the start. God only knows how his little body didn’t break in two in those early games". Phyllis’s next door neighbour, and equally ardent Richmond supporter, Glenda Evans, 62, was also there for Timmy’s first game and recalls his early days. "Oh, I tell you, right from the start all the girls loved him. The way he played, his "boy next door" looks. It was a pity he’d lost all his hair by the time he’d turned 20. Still…what a spunk !!"

It’s not just the fans that loved and respected the way he played and handled himself, but also his teammates and Tigers support staff. Tigers strapper of 45 years, Shane "Digger" Johnson remembers Timmy and in particular some of his nagging injuries. "He was a tough nut that Timmy. He had me strap a broken leg once so he could play in the 1995 final series. Damn near single handedly almost won us the premiership that year. I’ll never forget it….Loved his rub downs too. Would always ask for extended groin rubbings after each game…dunno why, said it got him excited…."

Fellow teammate Mathew Knights had nothing but praise for Timmy after his final game. "He was a true champion and great teammate. He was always there for the boys, even off the field. Whether it was helping you move house, picking your kids up from school,… even picking up the soap in the shower after one of the other boys had dropped it. They just couldn’t handle that slippery bugger…."

Timmy was as usual brief, but humble, in his final post match interview… "Look mate it’s been a great stint. The club’s been great, the players are a great bunch of blokes, and the supporters have been bloody fantastic, even those dero’s and bums who support the club and come to every bloody training session. It’s been a great run…."

And so ends the career of one of footy’s greatest. So when the Tiges hit the MCG for the first game of 2003, it will be hard for the supporters to accept that "Like A Tiger" will not be there. But he won’t be inactive. No, instead of being on the footy field, he’ll most likely be down at his farm on the Mornington Peninsula tending to his sheep, or giving one of his many cows a nice teat massage…

A poignant tribute from the Richmond Cheer Squad.